The Mighty Toon went back to the cavalier glory days of Kevin Keegan (no trophies won) with a three-man strike force in Owen, Mark Viduka and Obafemi Martins. The opposition team was the same as the team they'd picked in their last home game against that London club with the Spanish manager, so that number 16 came back into the side for some little foreign kid with bright boots.
It was a game of two halves, but both halves were all about famous Newcastle United. In the first half, they weren't very good, but in the second half they were much better. The other team scored when Newcastle United weren't playing very well, but even then, Owen hit a shot about 8 yards over the bar. At that point, Sky Sports News went live to St James' Park and interviewed one of the 5,000 unemployed morons who live outside so that whenever the Toon sign someone like Alan Shearer, Michael Owen or Stephen Carr they can all swing their shirts above their heads and be let into the ground so journeymen like Carr can be "paraded". After Owen's shot, one such local exclaimed through the gap in his teeth, whilst supping on WKD Blue and tilting his Burberry cap, "Haway man, we'll be gannin' on tah win this no, like… SHEARER! SHEARER!"
The side in the white shirts with blue trim weren't helped when the little Swedish bloke who scored against mighty Newcastle United home and away in the FA Cup last season got injured and was forced off at half-time. They were 1-0 up at this point, and you can't help thinking that replacing him with ex-Middlesbrough full-back Steve Parnaby looked a bit negative, when there was some African midfielder on the bench who could have gone in the middle with the little Irish captain going wide right (or the African midfielder could have gone on the right wing…). Players from both teams can get a sense of how substitutions might affect games, and I can't help thinking it sent out the wrong signals, that the other team, who were 1-0 up, might be trying to hold on for 45 minutes against their illustrious opponents - the mighty Newcastle United. In truth, they'd looked to start holding on from about 5 minutes before half-time.
In the second half, it is literally no exageration at all to say that Newcastle United were better than Real Madrid. They were amazing, and the other team never got the ball. It was only a matter of time before one of Newcastle United's world-class superstars scored, and so Owen did with his wonder-strike, moments after being superbly denied by that ex-Fulham goalie the other team had.
After this it was a fairly nervy affair, and both mighty Newcastle United and the blue and white team seemed to not want to lose the game. The blue and white team looked nervous, and that defender with the mullet and the waving arms did what no one thought he could do, and exceeded himself in the stupidity stakes by impersonating Newcastle Falcons' Toby Flood and catching a high ball and calling "mark". The illustrious Toon still had the better of the proceedings, possibly aided by the fact that the number 16 for the other side was injured but carried on for ages (although he still did well) and the little foreign bloke with shiny boots possibly should have come on earlier. They also brought on the fast striker who looks like Norma out of 'Shameless', but he wasn't very good. The French midfielder they've got who likes like Olivier Kapo did have a cracking game though.
There will be a civic reception in Newcastle to allow the fans who couldn't get a ticket amongst the 1,500 fans who filled the 2,800 allocation at the ground down south to celebrate with the players, as those loyal, mental and mad Geordies celebrated at the full time whistle - they truly are the best supporters in the land. They had the right to celebrate though - this was a sensational result and really showed that Newcastle United are back. You can't blame the Toon players (who all got 11/10 for their stunning displays) for time-wasting from about 80 minutes onwards. Although some people suggest that Toon fans are delusional for continuing to consider that Manchester United are their main rivals, because they got close to them in two seasons in the past six hundred, about 15 years ago, an away point at a promoted team below mighty Newcastle United is an unbelievably good result, and no one can blame the fans for taking their tops off and twirling them above their heads, nor can they blame the entire Toon entourage (including unused substitutes, injured players and coaches) for going to celebrate with the jam-packed away end, and the empty seats.
For the other team, well, does anyone care about them? They were playing Newcastle United and just making up the numbers. I suppose it was another point gained for them, but they might still see it as two points dropped (even though it was against such illustrious opponents) given that the mighty Toon had had a couple of totally uncharacteristic slip-ups of late. They also look to have picked up some injuries, with the Swedish guy, the number 16 and that blond Norwegian striker all having to hobble off at various stages. That will be a concern to them.
Let's not talk about them though… as with everything in football, it was all about the Toon.