SkyDaz Article

Last updated : 25 January 2007 By Darren Porter

The worst thing about the lay off is that I have nothing to write about and my editor is expecting a full page of the usual wit and wisdom (huh? –ed). I could waste the next few minutes of your life by droning on about other teams, the transfer window, Ashley Young (whooooooooooooooo?), Mourinho or even Big Brother.

There is not an awful lot going on at the moment. I know I wouldn't be saying that if I was in Afghanistan, Iraq, the Channel 4 boardroom, my bedroom or even the Cat and Fiddle. The world seems a little dull at the moment. It comes to something when the only thing to cheer us up is the start of ‘24' and a bit of frost. And I don't mean the David Jason thing.

My friend in Bergen, Norway tells me that it has been raining constantly for 81 days. The record for Norway is 87 consecutive days and apparently the whole town is electrified by the thought of securing the record. How dull must it be in Norway?

Do you see what happens when we don't play football?

Weather update: Bergen failed in its record attempt on 84 days. The town is mortified and the local news headline wondered what exactly they were going to talk about now. See? It's not just us who don't have a whole lot to discuss when there's no football.

This Matthew Upson saga is dragging on and quite frankly the transfer window could see the defenestration of the ‘promising' Matty. A few months ago I declared that he could leave if he wanted to go, there is no point holding onto a player who has declared his desire to ply his trade elsewhere. Since then he has eaten the proverbial curate's egg. One week he resembles England's centre half and the following week he looks more like American Samoa's reserve defender. The boy has talent and no doubt would have had a decent international career if he had played for long spells at a fashionable club. But he hasn't. At this stage of the campaign I would be keen to hang onto him, barring a lunatic £8 million bid, and get rid in the summer once promotion has been secured. If the biscuit magnate at the Happy Hammers can afford £6 million then he shouldn't have any problem disposing of a few more cookies and raising the cash. I've certainly been doing my bit for his cause over the last month.

It was sad to see David Dunn leave. We never really saw him arrive. Apart from a few memorable performances, stress is on the ‘few', he struggled with injury and quite frankly gave Darren Anderton a fight for the unwanted nickname.

Dunn out Vine in. It was refreshing to see the Blues buy Rowan Vine. In both games against us this season he posed a major threat and should prove a valuable asset when the going gets tough and the season approaches the sharp end. Basically Bendy doesn't belong to us and could be recalled at any time. Forssell is another player after Anderton's handle and therefore the reliance for the season could fall upon the inexperienced shoulders of DJ and Jerome. Whilst both were marvellous in the Newcastle win neither of them appear prolific in front of goal. The option to move McSheffrey is always there but this would involve the removal of the supply chain. Macca has been at his best out on the left and drifting into the game from the far side.

So once again we have to play in the bloody FA Cup. Steve Coppell's Reading team have been excellent this season without splashing out huge amounts of cash. Position by position you probably would not swap a Blues player for a Reading player but the sum of the parts has been most entertaining and fair play to them for doing so well in their inaugural season in the top flight.

Once again I can only hope that this cup run, of one game, comes to an end and we can all concentrate on the matter in hand. Big Brother. I think the next series should be based in Bergen. Outside. In the rainy season. I'm thinking page three girls and t shirts. But that's nothing new.

Oh well from me, SkyDaz Popadum, it's bye for another week. Thanks for reading and not just scooting to the bottom. You didn't? Did you?

Keep right on. We're nearly there. By the way Kevin, Jimmy and little Kev, it's your round. I'll buy them back when I make it into the next series of ‘Non-Celebrity Big Brother'.