Apparently David Sullivan reads the message boards and the fanzines. Therefore can I just say,
‘Hello David, I love the way you wear your hair. That big coat is lovely, did you buy it at Adams? What are the chances of a) lending some cash on a non-return basis b) spending some time in your nice big house c) taking some photos for one of your magazines and d) getting employed by the Blues as some sort of international ambassador?'
I have great credentials. I have my cycling proficiency certificate and a couple of those gymnastic ones for doing a forward roll and being able to walk in a straight line. I once took a great photo of half my mum's head and have been to Wales on holiday. Well Hereford actually but you could see Wales from the caravan park through the rain.
Do you think Sully (as he is known to his mates now that I've broken the ice) curses every day that he isn't just a tiny bit taller? All that cash, all those fit girls, all that power but he still needs a booster seat. The law has changed, be safe David.
Sully also chooses the match day music. This is a bone of contention with a lot of you. It's no good telling me off during the game, I don't pick the tunes any more and also in light of the above I doubt I will ever get the chance to do so again! Furthermore I would imagine Sully is nicely cocooned away in some corporate cucumber triangle fest pre match and the current selection is his way of getting his own back on those who have moaned. No sane man would inflict that much classical music on a football supporter.
I enjoy a little bit of classical music as much as the next fan. That Old Spice music is great, I don't know the words but singalong nonetheless. Montagues and Capulets is certainly stirring and Land of Hope and Glory is a wonderfully rousing tune. The thing is that they should be played either at Twickenham or by some pretentious ponce in a Union Jack vest at the Albert Hall confronted by thousands of upper class knobs waving flags and pretending to conduct the orchestra. Not at St Andrew's.
Sully is a bit miffed at the fans who are moaning. He has a point. Or does he? Clearly he is a recent convert to these articles otherwise he would have read the ‘Moron Fan Watch' that accompanied our brief tenancy in the Premiership. Every home match kick off was greeted by Moron Fan shouting abuse at a player within seconds of the start. These are the fans who are moaning now. They moaned during the good times and they moan during the bad. The vast majority of us will bitch and complain about the players, the management, the ticket prices, the catering, the toilets, etc etc but once the match starts we are vociferously behind the Blues. Our weekend is dictated by the result and that is why we want to win. Since we could talk we have been brainwashed into supporting the Blues. It is part of our psyche, embedded in us, entrenched and never to be changed. We care so much it hurts.
We reserve the right to complain when we don't think things are right. However at the moment things are finely balanced and the Blues could quite easily go either way. We are on the cusp of being a decent team in the Fizzy Pop league but two or three defeats could see us plummet down the table. This is the biggest problem for the club at the moment. As fans, and we all know a bit about football, we can say quite safely that we are not playing brilliantly. We are not stuffing teams, we are not comprehensively putting inferior sides to the sword, we are not walking this league. Before anyone says that no one promised we would walk this league well actually we were as much as guaranteed promotion by the powers at BCFC.
Ipswich provided a stern test and to be truthful the Blues did well to snatch a point. The vital plus point to emerge from the 2-2 draw was that the team showed they could come back from a goal behind even with ten men. Last season one goal was enough to beat us, this season there is at least some fight in the players.
Dunny did his best to make a game of it by scoring one and assisting with another albeit their second goal. DJC did well to poach another goal and one every two games will do for us. We still need someone to get to the twenty goal mark. Preferably two of them. Bendtner, Jerome, DJC, McSheff, should all get into double figures at least. Forssell feels he might have to move on to attain regular first team football and that is a shame. The Blues fans adore The Force and would like nothing better than to see him banging in goals for fun but unfortunately he just cannot recover his touch. It would be sad to see him leave but as with Dunn, we have laid out a lot of cash for little return.
If ever we struggle in front of goal we could always move Larsson up front. When we replace the suspended N'Gotty we should think about playing Larsson at centre half. In fact he's a perfect right back, left back, right midfield, right wing, left wing that he should also cut the grass, make the tea and select the pre match music. A little bit of Swedish dance trance urban disco Stockholm sauna scat would get us all bouncing in the aisles. It might even get Sully jigging out of the boardroom.
I'm off to Leeds. New haircut and three chavs in tow. Brilliant.
Keep right on. First Wrexham, then Shrewsbury, perhaps we can go all the way to the final playing Welsh teams after all Crewe are still in the hat as well.