In the words of that deep intellect from Big Brother Chantelle ‘oh my God'. Now apart from the fact that I would love to show her my wonderful collection of brass rubbings accumulated over the years during caravan holidays in North Wales her simple uttering amply states that at long last there is some light at the end of the tunnel. It's called the glimmer of hope.
Home to Chelsea and Bolton and away to Wigan. Not many points in that lot. But wait what's that riding over yonder hill? It's the goddamn cavalry and what's that they are carrying? Bless my cotton y fronts if it ain't five points.
In truth Chelsea were a tad disappointing. Not that I'm complaining, I'm grateful they were in a little dip. Pity poor West Ham who suffered the backlash despite taking the lead and playing the majority against ten men. For the first time in weeks Chelsea showed why they are worthy Premier Champions to be. Fortunately it wasn't against us. Given another ten minutes though and I am sure they would have found the net.
Bolton also didn't offer too much and once the goal machine Jarosik had scored the only thing left was for us all to move closer to the heart problems that await those who support our wonderful club.
Jarosik is a dream of a midfielder and he won balls in defence, midfield and given half an opportunity blazed at goal. How we miss him when he doesn't play? The Wigan game was too tense to watch at times. I was content at half time drawing nil nil. Just as I believed they were never going to score the northern gits went and scored. Curses, I'm useless at predictions. My horse fell at the first in the National for the fifth year on the trot. Twenty five quid and I haven't got over one fence yet!
Cue Heskey burning the Wigan defence for pace and the fit again Dunn sliding in to send me delirious. It was a good point. It was a shame we couldn't get the win but the result kept us out of the bottom three and lit the torch of hope.
Surely the whole season is going to depend on the next two games. Villa away and Blackburn at home. Which sick freak is writing the script? The raggedy bunch from Lozells and the battenburg new home of our former Welsh International hero Savage (still no call up eh? Shame!). Incredible.
Everyone is raving about how Pompey are going to stay up. The fact of the matter is that all our destinies are in our own hands. Regardless of what Pompey achieve we can still go one better. We can. It's the same with the Baggies. I am pretty certain we can write Sunderland off. Knowing my luck with predictions they might come back. Not likely though. I am willing to have a cheeky ten pence with anyone that the Black Cats get run over.
You don't want to be reading this drivel any longer. Buy the kids an ice cream and tell them to leave you alone for a few hours and only come back if the Blues have won. Send the missus down the mother in law's house and let the dog out before kick off. Get some beer in and get comfy because quite literally there are going to be another ninety minutes contribution towards your heart problem. I'll be screaming my way through another Fanzone for Sky Sports. Three out of three against the Villa but even I'm not stupid enough to risk a prediction.
Keep right on. Not long now kids, we're nearly there.